people who exercise in order to get rid of period cramps are the ones surviving the apocalypse.
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect
the only “hot action” going on in my bedroom is my laptop burning my skin
you think you’re cool but you’re just room temperature
you think you’re hot but that’s because you just got burnt
if u have good cheekbones aND good eyebrows fuck u
I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.
Now that I’m an adult I have to make more serious posts